Was it ever in my control?

I used to be so disappointed in myself for not being able to change my thoughts and emotions. Growing up with mental health struggles, all I ever heard was, 'It’s in your control' or, 'At least it’s not physical, you’re lucky you have the power to change it'. But is it really that easy?
Years passed with me feeling miserable, like I was failing at something that was supposed to be simple, even though I was trying so hard.
Now, I’ve outgrown the shame of not being able to achieve the mental state I once wished for. I may not have everything figured out, but at least I’m trying and that definitely counts for something.